Harling, as someone who works in the world of social media marketing, I have to articulate to you that you are the least unfollowable. I’m sure I am not the only one who has already mentally planned for the style drought in their inbox during your maternity leave! You’ve got this, and thank you for all the wonderful content you provide. ❤️
100% this. We would never; nay, we COULD never! ♥️ Enjoy, Harling. I can’t wait to hear her name. Wishing you a peaceful entry into this next phase of life.
Congrats Harling! So excited for you. I miss my little girls first few weeks home and I hope you get the space to cherish it in good spirits!
Question: I can NEVER style skirts. I have a very hourglass figure — even more now that I’m postpartum. How should I think about proportions? How do I make an outfit look good? Thanks!
a highly relevant query based on the number of likes this comment has!! i wish i could respond with a whole post (jotting down so I remember to think about it again post mat leave). but some briefer advice in the meantime:
– Consider texture/material. Skirts can skew very “dressed” or retro really fast, so if and when you're shopping for skirts I’d try leaning into fabrics that read casual or structured rather than floaty—think denim, cotton poplin, etc. Slightly stiff or weighty fabrics.
-Instead of defaulting to tucking everything in, try playing with top length vs. skirt shape. I love a longer-tunic-length top layered over a tailored mini skirt, or a cropped top with a fuller midi skirt and oversized blazer
-the right footwear is going to make a big difference. skirts are inherently super feminine, and a lot of the time I find they need a more masculine shoe to contrast/ground them. A loafer or tall boot instead of a ballet flat or pointy-toe shoe, etc.
-contrast in general is going to be your friend/skirt styling mantra. An unexpected bag or jacket can also help rebalance an outfit that’s feeling too precious or soft. If a skirt feels “off,” try adding a tougher or more practical element—a windbreaker, a trench, a nylon tote, etc.
Also so interested in this! I too have an hourglass figure and find it hard to not make skirts look very ‘retro 1950s feminine’ so would appreciate some styling tips x
-cardigan, zip-up hoodie, or robe (it's cold in hospitals so you'll want an extra layer that is also breastfeeding-friendly if you're planning on doing that)
-nursing-friendly bras, again only if you plan on breastfeeding
-something soothing for your nips like Silverettes, if you plan on breastfeeding. Would also consider bringing a nursing pillow if it's your first baby since it takes time to learn how and you'll want to be comfortable, but this isn't a MUST
-a big reusable water bottle
-long charger cord
-waterproof shower shoes
-toiletries
-a couple nightgowns or pairs of pajamas. machine washable is key because you might get blood on them
-filling snacks (I brought a ton of homemade peanut butter energy balls and coconut water with me. I wasn't hungry at all during labor but in the days following I was starving and so happy to have quick, satiating things to eat)
-a pillow (so annoying because they're bulky but it's def worth bringing because hospital pillows are atrociously uncomfortable and if you will be sore everywhere after you give birth. I carried mine in a trash bag)
-comfy outfit for going home
For baby:
-velcro swaddle (you can use the regular blanket swaddles at the hospital so this isn't a must, but nice to have!)
Harling made some excellent points about bringing your own pillow (hospital ones are garbage) and peanut butter energy balls. This is going to be a bit gross but it’s a necessary truth: if you get any kind of medication administered at the hospital, make sure to start taking a stool softener the day after you give birth. I’m sorry, it’s horrible, but these are things nobody tells you. So I’ll tell you 🫣
Congrats! Looking for your favorite pregnancy and mom substacks for fashionable city mothers like yourself ++ first time baby must haves (I'm expecting my first in October)
thank you! tbh i don't subscribe to any substacks that are *specifically* dedicated to pregnancy/mom life, but I do sub to a lot of newsletters written by cool moms who occasionally weave those topics into their work! Check out Old Fashioned by Ruby Redstone, Earl Earl by Laurel Pantin, Goodnight Mighty by Christina Herbert, are you wearing that? by Subrina Heyink, Downtime by Alisha Ramos, Open Studio by Jennifer Paccione Angulo, and Clothes Horse by Maura Brannigan
oh also my baby registry rundown post addresses your second question (not all of these things are must-haves of course, but overall will give you a sense of what I've genuinely loved and used)
Hi Harling from Adelaide, South Australia! Love your content and have loved following you for years. Congratulations on the upcoming arrival of bebe numero 2!
I would love to have your insights into the perfect summer travel pant! Mine would ideally not be wide-leg to avoid touching toilet floors (despite my love of wide-leg trousers otherwise), lightweight enough for a warm destination yet cosy enough for the plane. Have you come across such a unicorn in your sleuthing? Please do share if so!
Also would love going out top suggestions! Beyond button downs, sweaters, and tshirts/tanks, I’m stuck on what to wear on top if I want to feel a bit sexier or less relaxed. Mainly looking for a vibe shift at night.
Chloe Sevigny's red dress in the closing scene of Last Days of Disco!!!!
also re: names, so far we've only seriously entertained family names. my son is named after a family member from each side and our daughter will also have a family name (a last name actually, in the same spirit of Harling which is my great-grandfather's last name!). I'm not opposed to using a non-family name but it's felt nice to lean in that direction especially when it comes to narrowing things down. I'm a huge name nerd so I've been thinking about what I would name my kids for way too long lol. I will share my extended list of favorites at some point, when I'm done having kids 😄
Congratulations! If there’s anything you wish you knew before your wedding, what was it? Or areas you’re glad you spent versus ones you could have saved and not noticed much difference? Thanks!
Hi Harling! Congrats to your little (growing!) family x 1,000,000. I've always loved your writing; you're a life stage or two ahead of me, and I treasure your thoughts as wisdom for the future.
My question - what search terms would you use on TRR for refined business casual clothes? I work at a corporate law firm and want to slowly build out a work wardrobe I love since I spend So Much of my time there (RIP). I love the treasure hunt on TRR, but have been a little lost on how to go about searching for work clothes. XOXO thanks for reading :)
Hi Harling, congrats on baby #2! It's absolute chaos for awhile (everyone is crying!) but so very joyful.
My question for you: I work 100% remote, but every 2 months or so, I go to an industry event or large team meeting. I work in tech, so it's by no means "corporate" with a strict dress code, but I still want to look put together and professional. I have a number of trousers that fit the bill, mostly wide leg wool or cotton or linen (such as the Harry Trousers from Soeur), but can never seem to nail a top. I'm a t-shirts girl all the way, so struggle to find something professional, comfortable and standout. Recommendations welcome!
Hey Harling! I’m loving following along with your life as a parent! This might be too hard to answer but I wondered whether you have a general outlook on this stage of life and whether that’s changed since becoming a parent? Really curious to know any words of wisdom you live by/parent by xx
pasting my response to another commenter here because I think it answers what you're asking!
In a certain sense I feel like the degree of ignorance before you become a parent for the first time is a gift. There’s a kind of necessary naivety to it—especially when it comes to the surrender of selfhood. I don’t think anything could’ve prepared me for the identity shift that happens, not just in the logistical sense (though there’s plenty of that), but in the more existential one: how it feels to become someone’s center of gravity. Heading into the birth of my second child, though, I am grateful to have a deeper awareness of how fleeting most phases really are. My son had a lot of difficulties with sleep and breastfeeding as an infant, and at the time it felt all-consuming. I remember Googling things at 3 a.m. that made me feel like I’d somehow already failed him, or myself. But now it’s not something I think about at all. It didn’t define me, or him, or our bond. So I suppose one thing I would tell my past self is: what feels urgent right now may not even register a year from now. Not because it didn’t matter, but because you’ll move through it. And you’ll change, and the baby will change, and together you’ll keep shifting into new shapes. And finally: selfhood isn’t something you lose and then find again neatly—it’s more like a continuous evolution. Some parts go quiet for a while. Others surprise you. But you’re in there! You're just different. And that's okay.
**
ALSO, adding some practical wisdom that I really try to live by as a parent: get my chores done while my kid is awake, and use his naptime or bedtime to indulge in things that feel restful, pleasurable, or creatively generative—things I wouldn’t or couldn’t do while they’re awake. It’s not always easy, of course. Cleaning the apartment or cooking is absolutely a slower, more chaotic process when there’s a toddler tugging on the hem of my dress and issuing urgent snack-related directives. But I think there’s real value in choosing to do the “productive” stuff with him around when possible, even if it means things get messier before they get cleaner, or take twice as long. Partly because it's good to get him involved in taking care of his environment and witnessing how you I that, but also because his sleep time is precious. And using that time to fold laundry or mop the floor might look like good time management, but often it just leaves me feeling more depleted. I try to save that time for things that refill me—reading, zoning out on the couch with my phone or laptop, etc. Even spending an hour answering emails can feel restorative relative to taking care of a toddler haha
Hope everything goes well and enjoy this special time!
Dropping my question off: I love the loose linen drawstring pant looks trending, but every time I try to style them I feel like they look like pajamas. How do I snap out of this? Feels like a need for this upcoming summer heat.
the key is styling w/ an extremely un-pajama-like top!! i was reminded of this the other day when I tried to wear my Donni pointelle pants with an oversized button down. it was too much pajama vibe. Instead, would opt for something with more structure (i.e. something fitted and tailored up top) OR something that feels a little bit "fancy," like a going-out top (i.e. squarely removed from the idea of lounging indoors). I'd avoid T-shirts unless it's something statement-y, dare I say *clubby,* like... a vintage mini Pucci tee that would feel at home in a buzzy restaurant in the South of France, just to plant a visual in your head :) and then leverage your accessories to make things feel even more outdoor-specific!
Would you mind sharing your favorite athletic shorts to wear with a non-athletic top? You shared a few photos last week of your go-to comfy outfit, and I’d love to know more about those navy and white shorts + any others you love. Thank you!
First of all, congrats! Wishing you all the best ✨ I was wondering if you recall when you first got into style and what was THE outfit (if there’s a specific one) that stands out as the one that piqued your fascination?
It started to become a subject of fascination for me early on in middle school, but I will never forget in 8th grade the first time I saw a girl in my class wearing skinny jeans. It was 2006, they were from True Religion, and I was TRANSFIXED.
Harling, as someone who works in the world of social media marketing, I have to articulate to you that you are the least unfollowable. I’m sure I am not the only one who has already mentally planned for the style drought in their inbox during your maternity leave! You’ve got this, and thank you for all the wonderful content you provide. ❤️
okay you have no idea how thoroughly this made my day 🥲
100% this. We would never; nay, we COULD never! ♥️ Enjoy, Harling. I can’t wait to hear her name. Wishing you a peaceful entry into this next phase of life.
thank you so, so much Julia!
Congrats Harling! So excited for you. I miss my little girls first few weeks home and I hope you get the space to cherish it in good spirits!
Question: I can NEVER style skirts. I have a very hourglass figure — even more now that I’m postpartum. How should I think about proportions? How do I make an outfit look good? Thanks!
a highly relevant query based on the number of likes this comment has!! i wish i could respond with a whole post (jotting down so I remember to think about it again post mat leave). but some briefer advice in the meantime:
– Consider texture/material. Skirts can skew very “dressed” or retro really fast, so if and when you're shopping for skirts I’d try leaning into fabrics that read casual or structured rather than floaty—think denim, cotton poplin, etc. Slightly stiff or weighty fabrics.
-Instead of defaulting to tucking everything in, try playing with top length vs. skirt shape. I love a longer-tunic-length top layered over a tailored mini skirt, or a cropped top with a fuller midi skirt and oversized blazer
-the right footwear is going to make a big difference. skirts are inherently super feminine, and a lot of the time I find they need a more masculine shoe to contrast/ground them. A loafer or tall boot instead of a ballet flat or pointy-toe shoe, etc.
-contrast in general is going to be your friend/skirt styling mantra. An unexpected bag or jacket can also help rebalance an outfit that’s feeling too precious or soft. If a skirt feels “off,” try adding a tougher or more practical element—a windbreaker, a trench, a nylon tote, etc.
hope this helps a little bit!
Yes, I struggle to feel cool and modern in a skirt!
Also so interested in this! I too have an hourglass figure and find it hard to not make skirts look very ‘retro 1950s feminine’ so would appreciate some styling tips x
What to pack in hospital bag! I’m 1.5m out :)
Congratulations!! Here's what I would recommend:
For you:
-cardigan, zip-up hoodie, or robe (it's cold in hospitals so you'll want an extra layer that is also breastfeeding-friendly if you're planning on doing that)
-nursing-friendly bras, again only if you plan on breastfeeding
-something soothing for your nips like Silverettes, if you plan on breastfeeding. Would also consider bringing a nursing pillow if it's your first baby since it takes time to learn how and you'll want to be comfortable, but this isn't a MUST
-a big reusable water bottle
-long charger cord
-waterproof shower shoes
-toiletries
-a couple nightgowns or pairs of pajamas. machine washable is key because you might get blood on them
-filling snacks (I brought a ton of homemade peanut butter energy balls and coconut water with me. I wasn't hungry at all during labor but in the days following I was starving and so happy to have quick, satiating things to eat)
-a pillow (so annoying because they're bulky but it's def worth bringing because hospital pillows are atrociously uncomfortable and if you will be sore everywhere after you give birth. I carried mine in a trash bag)
-comfy outfit for going home
For baby:
-velcro swaddle (you can use the regular blanket swaddles at the hospital so this isn't a must, but nice to have!)
-going home outfit
-car seat
This is a good list bc I also need to pack the bag as baby could come any day.
Strongly recommend a sleep mask as well! Your partner may want one too. Anything that helps you catch any sleep that you can
Harling made some excellent points about bringing your own pillow (hospital ones are garbage) and peanut butter energy balls. This is going to be a bit gross but it’s a necessary truth: if you get any kind of medication administered at the hospital, make sure to start taking a stool softener the day after you give birth. I’m sorry, it’s horrible, but these are things nobody tells you. So I’ll tell you 🫣
Happy maternity leave, Harling! Sending the happiest healthiest wishes your way 💛
thank you so much Ali!!! can't believe it's here 😅
Congrats! Looking for your favorite pregnancy and mom substacks for fashionable city mothers like yourself ++ first time baby must haves (I'm expecting my first in October)
thank you! tbh i don't subscribe to any substacks that are *specifically* dedicated to pregnancy/mom life, but I do sub to a lot of newsletters written by cool moms who occasionally weave those topics into their work! Check out Old Fashioned by Ruby Redstone, Earl Earl by Laurel Pantin, Goodnight Mighty by Christina Herbert, are you wearing that? by Subrina Heyink, Downtime by Alisha Ramos, Open Studio by Jennifer Paccione Angulo, and Clothes Horse by Maura Brannigan
oh also my baby registry rundown post addresses your second question (not all of these things are must-haves of course, but overall will give you a sense of what I've genuinely loved and used)
https://gumshoe.substack.com/p/everything-id-put-on-my-baby-registry
Hi Harling from Adelaide, South Australia! Love your content and have loved following you for years. Congratulations on the upcoming arrival of bebe numero 2!
I would love to have your insights into the perfect summer travel pant! Mine would ideally not be wide-leg to avoid touching toilet floors (despite my love of wide-leg trousers otherwise), lightweight enough for a warm destination yet cosy enough for the plane. Have you come across such a unicorn in your sleuthing? Please do share if so!
Also would love going out top suggestions! Beyond button downs, sweaters, and tshirts/tanks, I’m stuck on what to wear on top if I want to feel a bit sexier or less relaxed. Mainly looking for a vibe shift at night.
look for secondhand Etro silk tops!! examples below
https://www.therealreal.com/products/women/clothing/tops/etro-silk-paisley-print-tunic-prx0k
https://www.therealreal.com/products/women/clothing/tops/etro-silk-printed-tunic-pliui
https://poshmark.com/listing/Etro-Milano-silk-tank-top-64f58af0932a8a5e41acad36
https://poshmark.com/listing/Etro-Silk-Colorblock-Camisole-Slip-Top-6599ac138bb2e22e6482bce9
I am curious what favorite movie outfits/looks are burned in your brain forever!!!
Non fashion.. I know you are very private about your children's names, but what names do you love but won't be using?? :) :)
Chloe Sevigny's red dress in the closing scene of Last Days of Disco!!!!
also re: names, so far we've only seriously entertained family names. my son is named after a family member from each side and our daughter will also have a family name (a last name actually, in the same spirit of Harling which is my great-grandfather's last name!). I'm not opposed to using a non-family name but it's felt nice to lean in that direction especially when it comes to narrowing things down. I'm a huge name nerd so I've been thinking about what I would name my kids for way too long lol. I will share my extended list of favorites at some point, when I'm done having kids 😄
That red dress has been burned in my brain for over a decade.
Congratulations! If there’s anything you wish you knew before your wedding, what was it? Or areas you’re glad you spent versus ones you could have saved and not noticed much difference? Thanks!
Do you have an updated curl routine? Any summer changes ?
I came here to ask the same! Would love to know what products/methods you’re using these days, Harling!
Hi Harling! Congrats to your little (growing!) family x 1,000,000. I've always loved your writing; you're a life stage or two ahead of me, and I treasure your thoughts as wisdom for the future.
My question - what search terms would you use on TRR for refined business casual clothes? I work at a corporate law firm and want to slowly build out a work wardrobe I love since I spend So Much of my time there (RIP). I love the treasure hunt on TRR, but have been a little lost on how to go about searching for work clothes. XOXO thanks for reading :)
Hi Harling, congrats on baby #2! It's absolute chaos for awhile (everyone is crying!) but so very joyful.
My question for you: I work 100% remote, but every 2 months or so, I go to an industry event or large team meeting. I work in tech, so it's by no means "corporate" with a strict dress code, but I still want to look put together and professional. I have a number of trousers that fit the bill, mostly wide leg wool or cotton or linen (such as the Harry Trousers from Soeur), but can never seem to nail a top. I'm a t-shirts girl all the way, so struggle to find something professional, comfortable and standout. Recommendations welcome!
Hey Harling! I’m loving following along with your life as a parent! This might be too hard to answer but I wondered whether you have a general outlook on this stage of life and whether that’s changed since becoming a parent? Really curious to know any words of wisdom you live by/parent by xx
pasting my response to another commenter here because I think it answers what you're asking!
In a certain sense I feel like the degree of ignorance before you become a parent for the first time is a gift. There’s a kind of necessary naivety to it—especially when it comes to the surrender of selfhood. I don’t think anything could’ve prepared me for the identity shift that happens, not just in the logistical sense (though there’s plenty of that), but in the more existential one: how it feels to become someone’s center of gravity. Heading into the birth of my second child, though, I am grateful to have a deeper awareness of how fleeting most phases really are. My son had a lot of difficulties with sleep and breastfeeding as an infant, and at the time it felt all-consuming. I remember Googling things at 3 a.m. that made me feel like I’d somehow already failed him, or myself. But now it’s not something I think about at all. It didn’t define me, or him, or our bond. So I suppose one thing I would tell my past self is: what feels urgent right now may not even register a year from now. Not because it didn’t matter, but because you’ll move through it. And you’ll change, and the baby will change, and together you’ll keep shifting into new shapes. And finally: selfhood isn’t something you lose and then find again neatly—it’s more like a continuous evolution. Some parts go quiet for a while. Others surprise you. But you’re in there! You're just different. And that's okay.
**
ALSO, adding some practical wisdom that I really try to live by as a parent: get my chores done while my kid is awake, and use his naptime or bedtime to indulge in things that feel restful, pleasurable, or creatively generative—things I wouldn’t or couldn’t do while they’re awake. It’s not always easy, of course. Cleaning the apartment or cooking is absolutely a slower, more chaotic process when there’s a toddler tugging on the hem of my dress and issuing urgent snack-related directives. But I think there’s real value in choosing to do the “productive” stuff with him around when possible, even if it means things get messier before they get cleaner, or take twice as long. Partly because it's good to get him involved in taking care of his environment and witnessing how you I that, but also because his sleep time is precious. And using that time to fold laundry or mop the floor might look like good time management, but often it just leaves me feeling more depleted. I try to save that time for things that refill me—reading, zoning out on the couch with my phone or laptop, etc. Even spending an hour answering emails can feel restorative relative to taking care of a toddler haha
Hope everything goes well and enjoy this special time!
Dropping my question off: I love the loose linen drawstring pant looks trending, but every time I try to style them I feel like they look like pajamas. How do I snap out of this? Feels like a need for this upcoming summer heat.
the key is styling w/ an extremely un-pajama-like top!! i was reminded of this the other day when I tried to wear my Donni pointelle pants with an oversized button down. it was too much pajama vibe. Instead, would opt for something with more structure (i.e. something fitted and tailored up top) OR something that feels a little bit "fancy," like a going-out top (i.e. squarely removed from the idea of lounging indoors). I'd avoid T-shirts unless it's something statement-y, dare I say *clubby,* like... a vintage mini Pucci tee that would feel at home in a buzzy restaurant in the South of France, just to plant a visual in your head :) and then leverage your accessories to make things feel even more outdoor-specific!
Stacked with options, thank you! Looking forward to trying these out over the summer, I have ideas already!
Excited for your next chapter with 2, Harling!
Would you mind sharing your favorite athletic shorts to wear with a non-athletic top? You shared a few photos last week of your go-to comfy outfit, and I’d love to know more about those navy and white shorts + any others you love. Thank you!
they are very old Outdoor Voices and sadly no longer in production! they're called the "exercise short" and you can def find secondhand. here's a pair on poshmark so you can see what they look like: https://poshmark.com/listing/Outdoor-Voices-Green-Athletic-Shorts-with-Contoured-Hem-68336a1cb6af92326d2440e8
I haven't bought new ones in years but have been eyeing these ones recently: https://athleta.gap.com/browse/product.do?pid=825529172&vid=1&tid=atpl000084&kwid=1&ap=7&gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=22304698785&gbraid=0AAAAAD_AT8u7f8xxyfoNiJgVOWEwA-_Mk&gclid=CjwKCAjw3f_BBhAPEiwAaA3K5Kw1JhACErF3mDFqGneZg5LXUxyewLEDOCLY28RXnk4XwcYWok-UDBoCMa4QAvD_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds#pdp-page-content
I also love my Donni sweatshorts: https://shopdonni.com/products/the-stripe-eco-terry-short-bell-pepper
Saw them on crazy sale here the other day (but unfortunately only in the smallest sizes): https://www.freepeople.com/shop/donni-the-eco-terry-stripe-sweatshorts/
First of all, congrats! Wishing you all the best ✨ I was wondering if you recall when you first got into style and what was THE outfit (if there’s a specific one) that stands out as the one that piqued your fascination?
It started to become a subject of fascination for me early on in middle school, but I will never forget in 8th grade the first time I saw a girl in my class wearing skinny jeans. It was 2006, they were from True Religion, and I was TRANSFIXED.
Skinny jeans! The chokehold these had on my little brother and I -- genuinely I think they're so hard to pull off, I could never do it