For my last newsletter of Wedding Month (which will be shipping out next week), I’d love to answer some reader questions. If you have one, please feel free to drop it in this thread. I’ll save some of the heftier ones for next week’s letter and answer some of the quicker ones in real-time today. They can be about anything! Style, decor, what I would do differently if I was getting married again, my favorite details from other weddings I’ve attended, bookmark-worthy Instagram inspo… just spitballing here. Sky’s the limit.
Going insane trying to find the perfect wedding shoes, especially if your dress will cover them. I changed into my comfy shoes immediately after the ceremony
does anyone have any examples of things they did for their wedding that would be considered non traditional or unique? this can go for anything - ceremony, decor, day of schedule, etc.
We opened naming our relatives who'd passed away previous to the wedding and folks seem really touched by it. Just immediate family and then a nod to our ancestors whose names we don't know. On a more fun note I love fun cards and knew not everyone would bring one so I bought a wedding card and had our wedding party sign it as we were getting ready!
We had framed pictures of our parents, grandparents, great grandparents etc, and our grandparents in particular really enjoyed looking for them (the final one was found on the day of our wedding, after months of searching!) and then showing them to our relatives. 100/100 recommend - but do consider your family circumstances re divorces etc
There is so much wedding content on social media / retail websites that I’m loosing sight of what I really want to wear for all the events (shower, rehearsal, reception dress). How did you stay true to your style when there is so much to choose from?
I would think about what characteristics you typically prioritize when you're purchasing an item of clothing outside the context of your wedding. Comfort, material, certain silhouettes, etc. Even though this is a once-in-a-lifetime occasion, your same preferences will still apply when it comes to actually enjoying the experience of wearing whatever you buy and feeling like yourself! If helpful, identify your three favorite special occasion outfits that you've worn in the past and consider the reasons why they appealed to you then and now. Extrapolate from there when it comes to choosing what you buy/wear to the events surrounding your wedding.
We are currently planning our April 2025 wedding, and the big things (venue, photographer, caterer, band) feel manageable to me, but all the options for little details that we could include, but don't have to (things like fun wedding favors, a photo booth, signage, other little moments and aesthetics throughout the day) are positively overwhelming. How did you decide what details to include and what to leave behind? I know the right answer is "do what's best for you" but I am struggling to figure out what little details will actually add to the magic of the day and which ones would ultimately be forgotten!
I'm pasting a response I shared with another reader in the comments under my newsletter from yesterday below, because I think it applies here!
Some of my favorite details were the most informal ones that came together at the last minute. My advice would be to invite close family members / friends into the experience of brainstorming those little personal touches and spearheading them in the weeks leading up to your wedding so that it's not as overwhelming for you. Everyone in my family kind of had a "job" that wasn't really a job in the sense that it came about organically and felt suited to their personality. For example -- my sister Tully volunteered to make homemade jello shots a couple days before the wedding and googled recipes to test out (she ended up making a tequila sunrise flavor and an espresso martini flavor -- delicious). And my sister-in-law Jacqueline is a talented artist, so she illustrated the little blueberries on signs that we put in the backyard encouraging people to pick them as "hors d'oeuvres." My brother-in-law designated himself the "hype man" of the weekend and took that really seriously hahah so he was a devoted member of the dance floor and also the one who made our garage party playlist. Some close friends who were staying at our house helped assemble paper lanterns and also took videos of the toasts on their phones so that we'd have recordings of all of them. I'm just naming examples of things that are coming to mind! I think it's a a win-win in that it really makes the people closest to you feel like they were part of bringing the day to life, even if they weren't directly involved in the bulk of the planning, and it's also a relatively instinctual way of determining which details will add to the magic. hope this helps!!
I think Harling’s answer is way more beautiful but just my practical two cents - no guest wants wedding favors! They’re regularly left behind and/or thrown out. Upgrade the wine instead!
I hand-bagged sachets of loose leaf tea (two types one bride’s tea and one groom’s tea), tea that I already loved, and made handwritten little tags for them. It took me a few hours. I love tea so it was fun. Then people picked them up from two baskets on the way out. Many people messaged me later saying how much they loved the tea. And since people didn’t have to take it, I just took the extras home/gave to family. Low-waste, low-cost, personal but without much of a weird homemade vibe, elegant, simple, and optional!
I just wanted to tell anyone who might need to hear that it's okay- nay, encouraged to lean into being the star of the show! I was nervous about taking up space and my engagement and wedding were incredibly lonely and hard. I'm hoping to do a 5 or 10 year anniversary or vow renewal to lean into celebrating myself and my husband
would love on TRR / Vestiaire collective! Look at silk white mini dresses, or type in festive party style search terms like "paillettes" and see what comes up
I suggest checking out what’s local to you. After shopping around, we went to two different brick and mortar small, family-owned jewelers for engagement/wedding rings (we moved) and had a great experience with both. Personal service, got to see everything in person, and both had many years of experience.
exactly exactly why I chose my local jeweler. I worked for them a bit in high school and she knows I love the antique box, so that is where I picked out my engagement ring. It's a beautiful antique from the 1920's (synthetic ruby and pearls) - I love it, but it is definitely different from what is typically considered an engagement ring today (diamond). So if you like antiques and/or want to find something really unique, ask for the antique section!
I really didn't like shopping for engagement rings - I didn't like the process, didn't want to custom design anything - I wanted something designed by an expert - I found a shop in SF (if you're in SF, Metier) that has vintage, and found a victorian ring that spoke to me. I loved the feeling of an heirloom even though it's not my family's. And it was wayyyyy cheaper than new.
If you hadn’t had the option to get married at your parent’s house what would you have looked for in a venue? And also how did you make decisions on guest list?
Something outdoors would be my preference. A garden or a barn or bed and breakfast type thing. If I was doing indoors, I would look for a venue that didn't feel too institutional or cold. I'd prefer cozy and inviting and even a little cramped over anything with lots of empty, echo-y, precious space (which is why things like museums and libraries can sometimes be tricky)
Mines July 13 at the oldest inn in America but really worried the 90 people will feel crammed in a not large space , this made me feel better thk youu 🙏
And recommendations for interesting wedding shoes? Everything seems too high or stiletto or just not workable for a full day event! Open to flats to 3inch heels cream or coloured but would like them to be affordable and rewearable!
I had the hardest time with this. We had a longish traditional Anglican ceremony and then an outdoor reception. Also, my husband is just a little taller than I am. Neither of us really cares about that but I didn’t want to suddenly look 3 inches taller when I never wear heels or look like that. I ended up wearing white satin khaite shoes that had pointy toes and about 1 inch heel. They were perfect and pretty comfortable. They did get a little grass love that will always be there…
I don’t know if I have any tips, I looked at SO many shoes trying to decide what was right.
Not sure where your range of affordable is, but loeffler Randall has amazing options. I found a pear of champagne gold flats on sale that were perfect for me! Also pop up on Poshmark, eBay, trr
Wedding GUEST question here - totally get the don't wear white to a wedding. But is it absolutely no white? Like if your dress is stripped, 2/3rd other colors 1/3rd white, does that count as "white" still? 🧐
for my wedding in June, I am encouraging white and black bc it's a black and white wedding, so some people do break this rule intentionally :) We're also providing black and white ribbons so that guests can add a bow or two if they want.
But I agree, I think that dress it styled enough that it's not a 'white dress' and no one at the wedding, esp not the bride, should mind, but you could perhaps run it by her to double check.
Give as much information as possible for things like transportation from the airport and where to stay, be clear on what you’re providing re transportation, and send save the dates and invitations early! Give people time to plan.
Did you incorporate any wedding mementos into your home? What elements of your stationary did you/or are you planning on having framed? As a recent former bride I'm trying to figure out what to do with all these (very expensive) things we had created for the wedding. It seems silly to keep everything stored away, but also unsure how to use them.
We included our stationary in our wedding photo album, which is displayed on a bookshelf. We also pressed and dried the flowers from my bouquet and then arranged them in one of those double glass frames. Super easy, and now we have a beautiful and meaningful wall decoration that doesn’t immediately scream BRIDAL.
Christmas ornaments! Polymer clay is super fun and easy to use to create some frames/backdrops for some of the smaller momentos and then once a year when you decorate you have a fun little trip down memory lane
-We made this origami crane backdrop for the bar at our wedding (btw a nice low key, fun activity to diy with family/friends too - like this https://www.pinterest.com/pin/133348838951433959/) and afterwards we hung it in our bedroom.
-Saved some of the name card holders we had made (spraypainted animals) along with our name cards and just have them nicely arranged on a shelf.
-Also framed our invite + ceremony handout + numbered ticket from when we went to get our wedding license all together in a nice way.
I would love to know more about your skincare routine in the lead up to your wedding and face makeup the day of! I also want to a very natural look with light makeup (mascara, blush) and good skin. My makeup artist is really pushing foundation (either airbrush or traditional) because supposedly it looks better in photos but that’s just not something I’m used to wearing! Did you have anything on your skin?
[Context: Getting married in late October on the California coast - casual programming: big dinner party in the orchard and a barn dance in the evening]
As someone who isn't very femme of a dresser, and with a setting that is very coastal California/casual, I've felt stuck on how to find elevated pieces that work in a more natural setting. Glitter and sequins are so fun but don't really fit the earthy vibe of where we are and who we are. At the same time, it's a special day and I want something that looks fancy and elevated and special, just not formal and glittery. Does this make any sense? We can't be the only couple that feels some discomfort with "fancy" but still wants to feel really stylish and unique!
I feel this way but about hair and makeup. I don't normally style my hair or wear makeup, but I also want it to be special and turn out well in photos but also I want it to feel natural at the same time. I have been a stress ball about it!
I would go with your gut and err on the side of less instead of more, especially in terms of makeup. I decided to forgo any eye makeup like eye shadow and eyeliner and just did a very natural-looking feathery lash and have no regrets. Still looked fine in photos! As for hair, my advice would be to stay within the *realm* of how you would normally style it for a regular special occasion outside of your wedding day, so that you'll still look and feel like yourself.
LOVE this!! I think you're onto something with a focus on the textures. The groom's toque hat and the bride's down to earth mix of textures are all very cool!
You probably already considered it and decided against it, but printed silk dresses like from Doen might be a nice option. I have a few that always feel nice on, and have dressed up or down for different occasions. Also maybe their cotton ones (same principle)
I'd love examples of how you've re-worn or re-used purchases/clothes/things you bought for your wedding. If clothes, how have you styled them since so it isn't overly 'bridal'. And also, what are the pieces you bought that you haven't and likely won't re-wear/re-use?
I’ve worked my wedding heels a couple of times since the fact (notably for my first baby’s christening, but also to fancy/special parties). Didn’t get a white wedding dress with the hope to wear it again to some formal event but have felt awkward wearing it since (too fancy for most parties that are not a wedding, and then too awkward wearing my wedding dress to someone else’s wedding). But I have worned my civil wedding dress (which is not at all bridal) on a couple of occasions, including a friends wedding with different accessories.
How about outfit suggestions for a very low key civil union (or partnership - we’re in the UK)? My partner and I are getting one largely for legal reasons because we have a son together - none of our family or friends are coming and we’re not really having a celebration in the traditional way. But I want to look nice and to feel it’s a special moment even though it’s more private than some other ways of legalising your relationship. I don’t know what to wear! And I would love some suggestions x
I eloped to Europe and had found a cream colored, linen, a-line Theory dress for like $100 at Nordstroms Rack. I really enjoyed it was a nod to tradition with the color but loved it could wear to other future events too. Maybe focus on finding a piece you just love in general! Good luck!
I’ve been having trouble deciding whether I should go custom and potentially end up with a dress I don’t like or to go a more predictable route. I love vintage too but so much is not returnables online. How to make a decision on a dress when there are so many options and do you have any shops/sites/brands that you love for wedding dresses?
If it's helpful - I found a secondhand (unworn!) dress on an app called Stillwhite - tons of options all over the world! I tried it on at a boutique near me before purchasing as well.
I didn't do this but I saw it at another wedding and loved it -- have a bowl or jar on a table along with little pieces of paper (you can make them cute, on pretty paper in different colors) and pens and a small sign asking guests to write a note for the couple to read on their first anniversary. Can be marriage advice, the thing you loved most about their wedding or about them as people, etc.
definitely separates of some kind. A wool or silk suit is always a great bet. That said, I'm not really a suit person myself (I love how they look on other people but they don't tend to be what I gravitate toward) so I would probably do a long maxi-length white skirt and an interesting top
HI! I cannot tell you how perfectly timed this is in my life. I'm getting married in September to the love of my life after eight years together but the wedding planning has been a nightmare. It went from my dream wedding of close family and friends in my parents' backyard to something that's in a hotel in the city we live in and, well, it doesn't feel like me. As a side note, I purchased a dress from Australia (I live in the U.S.) and it will arrive just two weeks ahead of the wedding (no, I've never tried it on - who am I?!). Anyways, all that aside - my question is: When your wedding doesn't reflect you the way you had always hoped, how do you make it feel special and perfectly yours? I've been cutting out photos of weddings from magazines since I was six - and I guess I just want to honor myself in a way I don't quite know how to do. Any and all help is so appreciated. (None of this is meant to be a dig at my family members, partner or anyone. What I wanted just ended up not being practical for our current reality.)
I wore my gown the whole time! The case for it was that it was comfortable enough to do it, it meant I wasn’t spending on two dresses and could buy and tailor the one I wanted, and I love the pictures!
I’m getting married in September and really didn’t want to change outfits, but still wanted my dress for the ceremony and reception to have a slightly more elevated/ethereal vibe. I think accessories can be a fun way to create different look without buying two dresses. I got really into overskirts and ended up finding the perfect one in a bridal shop in Toronto (https://www.thenewhite.com/collectionv/). I watched on Stillwhite for a few weeks and eventually found one for 60% off retail. I’m planning to wear this over my very simple and comfortable slip-like wedding dress. I also liked some of the overskirts by Halfpenny London, Cortana, and A la robe.
I am planning a wedding, and we want it to be fun and totally the experience of a lifetime, but we are young and do not have support from parents to pay for it. Which pieces do you think are the important to splurge, which can you do in a cheaper way, and what can you skip all together?
I don’t think I saw many comments here about this yet, but would love a guide on wedding guest outfit ideas for different dress codes! I know you’ve mentioned separates before, but I’d love more ideas and suggestions - I have more weddings to attend this spring/summer than I’ve had in YEARS and I feel like I’m starting from scratch on the attendee attire.
don’t know how to pic a shoe style for the ceremony! Would like a block heel for the garden, but I just have no vision on shoes to go with my V. Chapman Charlotte dress with a @shawnmlakin -esque veil. Love any perspective the group has to share.
How did you approach wedding stationery? Was it important/not important? Did you do an engagement shoot/how did you feel about save the dates? How did you do day of stationery (signs, place cards, menus)? Did you do a couple's drink/how did you decide, if not, to not do things that have become, in the last 10ish years, "expected" but may, to you, feel a little cliche?
Who says summer weddings are more fun?! Weddings in October/November are the most popular in the Midwest where I live I think because the summer months are just brutally humid here. There is such a romantic feel in Oct/Nov and more reliable beautiful weather. With the majority of weddings I've ever been to being indoors there really is no difference to me as a guest. The only factors I would consider: outdoor backdrop for your wedding day photos (depending on where you are the leaves will likely have fallen from the trees) and the sun setting earlier in the day.
I got married right before Christmas, and it was SO fun and special. Also helped us keep the guest list reasonable since, understandably, some folks just couldn’t make it!
I'm getting married this November! And have been to some great winter weddings. I think they can be just as fun as summer weddings, and they have all the same "fun" ingredients (family/friends, dancing, drinking, etc) -- you just have to lean into the moodier, cozier fall-winter vibe rather than trying to make it feel like a summer wedding but indoors.
completely agree! i also think you have the advantage of avoiding peak burnout season, and November is right when people are starting to feel pre-holiday festive
Also -- ppl should obviously feel free to reply to each other's questions as well! Doesn't need to just be me supplying answers
What's the one thing you/ppl wish they DIDNT do for their wedding? Splurges that were/were not worth it?
Going insane trying to find the perfect wedding shoes, especially if your dress will cover them. I changed into my comfy shoes immediately after the ceremony
does anyone have any examples of things they did for their wedding that would be considered non traditional or unique? this can go for anything - ceremony, decor, day of schedule, etc.
We opened naming our relatives who'd passed away previous to the wedding and folks seem really touched by it. Just immediate family and then a nod to our ancestors whose names we don't know. On a more fun note I love fun cards and knew not everyone would bring one so I bought a wedding card and had our wedding party sign it as we were getting ready!
We put our passed loved ones printed in the ceremony bulletin
opened the ceremony or the reception with this?
I've also seen people do this with a row of empty chairs and photos
Opened the ceremony
We had framed pictures of our parents, grandparents, great grandparents etc, and our grandparents in particular really enjoyed looking for them (the final one was found on the day of our wedding, after months of searching!) and then showing them to our relatives. 100/100 recommend - but do consider your family circumstances re divorces etc
so you mean you hid them around your venue? that's such a cute idea!
There is so much wedding content on social media / retail websites that I’m loosing sight of what I really want to wear for all the events (shower, rehearsal, reception dress). How did you stay true to your style when there is so much to choose from?
I would think about what characteristics you typically prioritize when you're purchasing an item of clothing outside the context of your wedding. Comfort, material, certain silhouettes, etc. Even though this is a once-in-a-lifetime occasion, your same preferences will still apply when it comes to actually enjoying the experience of wearing whatever you buy and feeling like yourself! If helpful, identify your three favorite special occasion outfits that you've worn in the past and consider the reasons why they appealed to you then and now. Extrapolate from there when it comes to choosing what you buy/wear to the events surrounding your wedding.
same same same!!
We are currently planning our April 2025 wedding, and the big things (venue, photographer, caterer, band) feel manageable to me, but all the options for little details that we could include, but don't have to (things like fun wedding favors, a photo booth, signage, other little moments and aesthetics throughout the day) are positively overwhelming. How did you decide what details to include and what to leave behind? I know the right answer is "do what's best for you" but I am struggling to figure out what little details will actually add to the magic of the day and which ones would ultimately be forgotten!
I'm pasting a response I shared with another reader in the comments under my newsletter from yesterday below, because I think it applies here!
Some of my favorite details were the most informal ones that came together at the last minute. My advice would be to invite close family members / friends into the experience of brainstorming those little personal touches and spearheading them in the weeks leading up to your wedding so that it's not as overwhelming for you. Everyone in my family kind of had a "job" that wasn't really a job in the sense that it came about organically and felt suited to their personality. For example -- my sister Tully volunteered to make homemade jello shots a couple days before the wedding and googled recipes to test out (she ended up making a tequila sunrise flavor and an espresso martini flavor -- delicious). And my sister-in-law Jacqueline is a talented artist, so she illustrated the little blueberries on signs that we put in the backyard encouraging people to pick them as "hors d'oeuvres." My brother-in-law designated himself the "hype man" of the weekend and took that really seriously hahah so he was a devoted member of the dance floor and also the one who made our garage party playlist. Some close friends who were staying at our house helped assemble paper lanterns and also took videos of the toasts on their phones so that we'd have recordings of all of them. I'm just naming examples of things that are coming to mind! I think it's a a win-win in that it really makes the people closest to you feel like they were part of bringing the day to life, even if they weren't directly involved in the bulk of the planning, and it's also a relatively instinctual way of determining which details will add to the magic. hope this helps!!
I love love love this. Thank you!!! So excited to keep reading the wedding content! You could not have a picked a better time for wedding month!!!
I think Harling’s answer is way more beautiful but just my practical two cents - no guest wants wedding favors! They’re regularly left behind and/or thrown out. Upgrade the wine instead!
I hand-bagged sachets of loose leaf tea (two types one bride’s tea and one groom’s tea), tea that I already loved, and made handwritten little tags for them. It took me a few hours. I love tea so it was fun. Then people picked them up from two baskets on the way out. Many people messaged me later saying how much they loved the tea. And since people didn’t have to take it, I just took the extras home/gave to family. Low-waste, low-cost, personal but without much of a weird homemade vibe, elegant, simple, and optional!
I just wanted to tell anyone who might need to hear that it's okay- nay, encouraged to lean into being the star of the show! I was nervous about taking up space and my engagement and wedding were incredibly lonely and hard. I'm hoping to do a 5 or 10 year anniversary or vow renewal to lean into celebrating myself and my husband
Where are we finding fun/unique after party dresses! Most of the options i see on the market feel tired and homogeneous.
would love on TRR / Vestiaire collective! Look at silk white mini dresses, or type in festive party style search terms like "paillettes" and see what comes up
https://www.homeofhai.com makes great silk pieces — not sure your vibe but I did a little silk mini dress from them for my afterparty and loved it!
smaller/lesser known jewelers for engagement and bands? thank you!
I suggest checking out what’s local to you. After shopping around, we went to two different brick and mortar small, family-owned jewelers for engagement/wedding rings (we moved) and had a great experience with both. Personal service, got to see everything in person, and both had many years of experience.
this! this! also, going with local means you can easily follow up with them in terms of cleanings, resizings, repairs, etc.
exactly exactly why I chose my local jeweler. I worked for them a bit in high school and she knows I love the antique box, so that is where I picked out my engagement ring. It's a beautiful antique from the 1920's (synthetic ruby and pearls) - I love it, but it is definitely different from what is typically considered an engagement ring today (diamond). So if you like antiques and/or want to find something really unique, ask for the antique section!
I really didn't like shopping for engagement rings - I didn't like the process, didn't want to custom design anything - I wanted something designed by an expert - I found a shop in SF (if you're in SF, Metier) that has vintage, and found a victorian ring that spoke to me. I loved the feeling of an heirloom even though it's not my family's. And it was wayyyyy cheaper than new.
How do you keep the party momentum going to the after party?
We had surprise espresso martinis at the entrance to the welcome party which picked energy up!
If you hadn’t had the option to get married at your parent’s house what would you have looked for in a venue? And also how did you make decisions on guest list?
Something outdoors would be my preference. A garden or a barn or bed and breakfast type thing. If I was doing indoors, I would look for a venue that didn't feel too institutional or cold. I'd prefer cozy and inviting and even a little cramped over anything with lots of empty, echo-y, precious space (which is why things like museums and libraries can sometimes be tricky)
Mines July 13 at the oldest inn in America but really worried the 90 people will feel crammed in a not large space , this made me feel better thk youu 🙏
And recommendations for interesting wedding shoes? Everything seems too high or stiletto or just not workable for a full day event! Open to flats to 3inch heels cream or coloured but would like them to be affordable and rewearable!
I had the hardest time with this. We had a longish traditional Anglican ceremony and then an outdoor reception. Also, my husband is just a little taller than I am. Neither of us really cares about that but I didn’t want to suddenly look 3 inches taller when I never wear heels or look like that. I ended up wearing white satin khaite shoes that had pointy toes and about 1 inch heel. They were perfect and pretty comfortable. They did get a little grass love that will always be there…
I don’t know if I have any tips, I looked at SO many shoes trying to decide what was right.
Not sure where your range of affordable is, but loeffler Randall has amazing options. I found a pear of champagne gold flats on sale that were perfect for me! Also pop up on Poshmark, eBay, trr
Wedding GUEST question here - totally get the don't wear white to a wedding. But is it absolutely no white? Like if your dress is stripped, 2/3rd other colors 1/3rd white, does that count as "white" still? 🧐
is there a particular dress you have in mind / can you upload a pic??
https://photos.app.goo.gl/RmW1mxu7Gi7eNmF86
Here's a pic!
you can 1000% wear that to a wedding IMO
for my wedding in June, I am encouraging white and black bc it's a black and white wedding, so some people do break this rule intentionally :) We're also providing black and white ribbons so that guests can add a bow or two if they want.
But I agree, I think that dress it styled enough that it's not a 'white dress' and no one at the wedding, esp not the bride, should mind, but you could perhaps run it by her to double check.
Any tips for making guests' experiences smooth for a destination wedding?
Give as much information as possible for things like transportation from the airport and where to stay, be clear on what you’re providing re transportation, and send save the dates and invitations early! Give people time to plan.
How do you choose a DJ?
Did you incorporate any wedding mementos into your home? What elements of your stationary did you/or are you planning on having framed? As a recent former bride I'm trying to figure out what to do with all these (very expensive) things we had created for the wedding. It seems silly to keep everything stored away, but also unsure how to use them.
We included our stationary in our wedding photo album, which is displayed on a bookshelf. We also pressed and dried the flowers from my bouquet and then arranged them in one of those double glass frames. Super easy, and now we have a beautiful and meaningful wall decoration that doesn’t immediately scream BRIDAL.
Christmas ornaments! Polymer clay is super fun and easy to use to create some frames/backdrops for some of the smaller momentos and then once a year when you decorate you have a fun little trip down memory lane
I saved a few things!
-We made this origami crane backdrop for the bar at our wedding (btw a nice low key, fun activity to diy with family/friends too - like this https://www.pinterest.com/pin/133348838951433959/) and afterwards we hung it in our bedroom.
-Saved some of the name card holders we had made (spraypainted animals) along with our name cards and just have them nicely arranged on a shelf.
-Also framed our invite + ceremony handout + numbered ticket from when we went to get our wedding license all together in a nice way.
Wedding shoe recommendations! Ideally comfy, flat ones for walking down a grass aisle.
What is something you spent a lot of effort designing/thinking about/planning that ended up not being super important?
I would love to know more about your skincare routine in the lead up to your wedding and face makeup the day of! I also want to a very natural look with light makeup (mascara, blush) and good skin. My makeup artist is really pushing foundation (either airbrush or traditional) because supposedly it looks better in photos but that’s just not something I’m used to wearing! Did you have anything on your skin?
[Context: Getting married in late October on the California coast - casual programming: big dinner party in the orchard and a barn dance in the evening]
As someone who isn't very femme of a dresser, and with a setting that is very coastal California/casual, I've felt stuck on how to find elevated pieces that work in a more natural setting. Glitter and sequins are so fun but don't really fit the earthy vibe of where we are and who we are. At the same time, it's a special day and I want something that looks fancy and elevated and special, just not formal and glittery. Does this make any sense? We can't be the only couple that feels some discomfort with "fancy" but still wants to feel really stylish and unique!
do you feel strongly about sticking to white-only outfits? or open to other ideas?
Open to any color and type of outfit!!
I feel this way but about hair and makeup. I don't normally style my hair or wear makeup, but I also want it to be special and turn out well in photos but also I want it to feel natural at the same time. I have been a stress ball about it!
I would go with your gut and err on the side of less instead of more, especially in terms of makeup. I decided to forgo any eye makeup like eye shadow and eyeliner and just did a very natural-looking feathery lash and have no regrets. Still looked fine in photos! As for hair, my advice would be to stay within the *realm* of how you would normally style it for a regular special occasion outside of your wedding day, so that you'll still look and feel like yourself.
Oooh I don’t have practical advice but this wedding might have good inspo. The textures of their outfits are gorg but down to earth: https://www.sammblakeweddings.com/gallery/sea-ranch-california/
LOVE this!! I think you're onto something with a focus on the textures. The groom's toque hat and the bride's down to earth mix of textures are all very cool!
You probably already considered it and decided against it, but printed silk dresses like from Doen might be a nice option. I have a few that always feel nice on, and have dressed up or down for different occasions. Also maybe their cotton ones (same principle)
I'd love examples of how you've re-worn or re-used purchases/clothes/things you bought for your wedding. If clothes, how have you styled them since so it isn't overly 'bridal'. And also, what are the pieces you bought that you haven't and likely won't re-wear/re-use?
I’ve worked my wedding heels a couple of times since the fact (notably for my first baby’s christening, but also to fancy/special parties). Didn’t get a white wedding dress with the hope to wear it again to some formal event but have felt awkward wearing it since (too fancy for most parties that are not a wedding, and then too awkward wearing my wedding dress to someone else’s wedding). But I have worned my civil wedding dress (which is not at all bridal) on a couple of occasions, including a friends wedding with different accessories.
Worked=worned, sry autocorrect
Engagement story!
How about outfit suggestions for a very low key civil union (or partnership - we’re in the UK)? My partner and I are getting one largely for legal reasons because we have a son together - none of our family or friends are coming and we’re not really having a celebration in the traditional way. But I want to look nice and to feel it’s a special moment even though it’s more private than some other ways of legalising your relationship. I don’t know what to wear! And I would love some suggestions x
I eloped to Europe and had found a cream colored, linen, a-line Theory dress for like $100 at Nordstroms Rack. I really enjoyed it was a nod to tradition with the color but loved it could wear to other future events too. Maybe focus on finding a piece you just love in general! Good luck!
I’ve been having trouble deciding whether I should go custom and potentially end up with a dress I don’t like or to go a more predictable route. I love vintage too but so much is not returnables online. How to make a decision on a dress when there are so many options and do you have any shops/sites/brands that you love for wedding dresses?
If it's helpful - I found a secondhand (unworn!) dress on an app called Stillwhite - tons of options all over the world! I tried it on at a boutique near me before purchasing as well.
What are some fun interactive things to offer guests, other than a photo booth?
I didn't do this but I saw it at another wedding and loved it -- have a bowl or jar on a table along with little pieces of paper (you can make them cute, on pretty paper in different colors) and pens and a small sign asking guests to write a note for the couple to read on their first anniversary. Can be marriage advice, the thing you loved most about their wedding or about them as people, etc.
I went to a wedding recently that had an empty photo album next to a Polaroid camera. It filled up over the evening and was so fun!!
We love our photographer so didn’t want to muddy the night up with your typical Photo Booth. So we’re having a caricaturist instead!
If the priority for your wedding outfit would be to wear it again what would you go for?
definitely separates of some kind. A wool or silk suit is always a great bet. That said, I'm not really a suit person myself (I love how they look on other people but they don't tend to be what I gravitate toward) so I would probably do a long maxi-length white skirt and an interesting top
I picked a golden shimmering lirika matoshi dress and have been a keeper to rewear and share!
HI! I cannot tell you how perfectly timed this is in my life. I'm getting married in September to the love of my life after eight years together but the wedding planning has been a nightmare. It went from my dream wedding of close family and friends in my parents' backyard to something that's in a hotel in the city we live in and, well, it doesn't feel like me. As a side note, I purchased a dress from Australia (I live in the U.S.) and it will arrive just two weeks ahead of the wedding (no, I've never tried it on - who am I?!). Anyways, all that aside - my question is: When your wedding doesn't reflect you the way you had always hoped, how do you make it feel special and perfectly yours? I've been cutting out photos of weddings from magazines since I was six - and I guess I just want to honor myself in a way I don't quite know how to do. Any and all help is so appreciated. (None of this is meant to be a dig at my family members, partner or anyone. What I wanted just ended up not being practical for our current reality.)
How do people feel about changing your dress? Has anyone worn a gown dress for the whole event and can make a case for it?
I wore my gown the whole time! The case for it was that it was comfortable enough to do it, it meant I wasn’t spending on two dresses and could buy and tailor the one I wanted, and I love the pictures!
I’m getting married in September and really didn’t want to change outfits, but still wanted my dress for the ceremony and reception to have a slightly more elevated/ethereal vibe. I think accessories can be a fun way to create different look without buying two dresses. I got really into overskirts and ended up finding the perfect one in a bridal shop in Toronto (https://www.thenewhite.com/collectionv/). I watched on Stillwhite for a few weeks and eventually found one for 60% off retail. I’m planning to wear this over my very simple and comfortable slip-like wedding dress. I also liked some of the overskirts by Halfpenny London, Cortana, and A la robe.
I am planning a wedding, and we want it to be fun and totally the experience of a lifetime, but we are young and do not have support from parents to pay for it. Which pieces do you think are the important to splurge, which can you do in a cheaper way, and what can you skip all together?
I don’t think I saw many comments here about this yet, but would love a guide on wedding guest outfit ideas for different dress codes! I know you’ve mentioned separates before, but I’d love more ideas and suggestions - I have more weddings to attend this spring/summer than I’ve had in YEARS and I feel like I’m starting from scratch on the attendee attire.
How do you feel about silk bow ties and cummerbunds? Is there any good modern brand making them? Or should I just go vintage (my wedding is in July)?
don’t know how to pic a shoe style for the ceremony! Would like a block heel for the garden, but I just have no vision on shoes to go with my V. Chapman Charlotte dress with a @shawnmlakin -esque veil. Love any perspective the group has to share.
i decided to dedicate this week's post to wedding shoes since i got so many Qs about this!! hopefully will provide some inspo on that front
How did you approach wedding stationery? Was it important/not important? Did you do an engagement shoot/how did you feel about save the dates? How did you do day of stationery (signs, place cards, menus)? Did you do a couple's drink/how did you decide, if not, to not do things that have become, in the last 10ish years, "expected" but may, to you, feel a little cliche?
+1 on determining your wedding guest list?
What are your top favorite wedding dress designs which you feel stand the test of time and trends?
Would love to know more about your engagement ring and the process of choosing!
Should I be discouraged to have a wedding in November because summer weddings are more ‘fun’?
Who says summer weddings are more fun?! Weddings in October/November are the most popular in the Midwest where I live I think because the summer months are just brutally humid here. There is such a romantic feel in Oct/Nov and more reliable beautiful weather. With the majority of weddings I've ever been to being indoors there really is no difference to me as a guest. The only factors I would consider: outdoor backdrop for your wedding day photos (depending on where you are the leaves will likely have fallen from the trees) and the sun setting earlier in the day.
I got married right before Christmas, and it was SO fun and special. Also helped us keep the guest list reasonable since, understandably, some folks just couldn’t make it!
I'm getting married this November! And have been to some great winter weddings. I think they can be just as fun as summer weddings, and they have all the same "fun" ingredients (family/friends, dancing, drinking, etc) -- you just have to lean into the moodier, cozier fall-winter vibe rather than trying to make it feel like a summer wedding but indoors.
completely agree! i also think you have the advantage of avoiding peak burnout season, and November is right when people are starting to feel pre-holiday festive