Love this! I think your advice about shape/color/proportion over aesthetic is so dead-on. I had a similar realization lately and it’s made getting dressed so much easier. Plus I feel more ME.
Thank you for this newsletter Harling! Lately (actually, for a very long time), I have been thinking about my personal style, really trying hard to come up with those infamous three words that are supposed to describe it, but I simply cannot seem to be able to label it correctly, therefore making me feel like I have no true style, because, like you said, my style is not "consistent" enough, and I truly love all sorts of things, puffy dresses, minimalist dresses, bohemian, girly, menswear inspired... I've decided I'm no longer gonna try to label it, I will just let it be and see where it takes me.
I cannot stress how important these words are in this particular climate of sped-up trend cycles and everything-core. I'm about to move from one continent to another and having to fit my whole life into two suitcases and the pieces that are coming with me are all "collectibles". I'll be passing this along to everyone I know!
Yesss thank you for articulating why I feel like looking at Instagram is not actually helping me develop my style right now!! Like I’m happy for everyone who has found success there but the dominance of “____core” and “____ aesthetic” is annoying when those things are often literally 1-2 outfits repeated in different colors, or very formulaic.
I feel seen!! I'm a lifelong NYer who's influenced by so many styles and cultures that its impossible to pigeon-hole my style into a category or a few words. In an effort to recognize some hallmarks of my personal style, I realized I gravitate towards certain colors and shapes that are flattering to me. Sometimes this backfires, like the time I realized I won FAR too much green clothing, but I think for the most part I enjoy being experimental in earthy tones. I will say, the best advice is "shop like a collector, not a retail buyer".... genius.
I loved this as someone who just edited their closet based on the "3 words method" and then subsequently got a little bored and boxed in (lol). love the reminder to shop secondhand - I do think that challenges my brain in a good way and breaks me out of thinking too much about trends and rather more about what you said - proportion, color, shape.
What a great rebuttal to this current influencing era. I loved your take on witnessing style through the prism of real life. Sometimes I’ll try to reference a look from social media and apply it to my own wardrobe only to feel like I can’t wear it out of the house due to lack of comfort. Also, embracing being an “outfit repeater!” and seeing it as a creative opportunity.
I couldn’t have possibly articulated my thoughts this succinctly but I agree! It’s kind of freeing because, to your point, I have a hard time categorizing my own personal style and have sadly turned down many amazing unique secondhand pieces in pursuit of a strict aesthetic, i.e. a uniform/color-coordinated closet. 😭 Helpful to know the colors and shapes that work for you and use those as a shopping guide, especially for wardrobe staples and buying things new, but give yourself the creative freedom to venture a little. 🩷
“I used to think that meant I was stylistically confused — why else would Sade’s crisp and classic black-and-white ensemble inspire me just as much as Chloë Sevigny in tiger-striped tights? Now I’m pretty sure it just means I’m a human being who isn’t getting dressed inside of a video game.” Aaah thanks for this. I’ve always felt like I need to be one of those women with a Signature Style™️ and I’m just... not that. I thought something was wrong with me, style-wise, so I’m always trying to narrow down my whole style thing and force it into a box. Realizing I don’t have to is so heartening.
Brilliant! I have been feeling so stuck with my wardrobe recently, as I have feel I have been doing a similar thing of trying to fit it into a ‘box’, an aesthetic. When I read your advice about shape, colour and proportion, it clicked!! I wish I had come across that advice sooner. I will be culling, (and collecting!), as per this now. Xx
It’s like you read my mind!! Only yesterday I was stressing that I couldn’t ‘fit’ my personal style into a category. I was deliberating over whether I am ‘French girl’, ‘comfy’, ‘androgynous’.... but none of them sat well with me because my style changes based on mood, how my body feels, what I wore the day before (I.e. if I dress up one day, usually the next I need to keep it low key and extremely comfy). Also, I like a point of difference, something off kilter in how I dress, so this categorisation never seemed to work. Thank you for articulating Harling! X
I definitely think that putting your style in a categorical box can rob you of the enjoyable aspects of fashion styling. I remember reading years ago about a fashion or art director (can't remember exactly) who wore the same outfit to work everyday—a white button down and trousers—because it took the guess work out of getting ready. I believe Tonne Goodman has a similar approach, but I always thought that was too stifling a rule to follow. Fashion is FUN and I think it's better to treat getting ready as a form of playing dress up, like when I was a kid. If you have great pieces to work with, the possibilities for new outfits are endless <3
Hi Harling, this is a great reflection on how fluid and evolving personal style can and should be! My friends and I chat a lot about how style has been reduced to the core of the month or as you put it: easily categorizable style for the algorithm. Its really become all about staying on trend and conspicuous consumption. I have a lot of thoughts and gripes on this but my biggest one is how boring it’s all getting! A few years ago Agus Panzoni shared a writing exercise on how to reflect upon and develop your own personal style by writing down your 10 most favorite items, 10 most worn items and the top 10 colors and patterns of all of those items plus 10 items on your wishlist. Your piece helped me clarify what that exercise is all about: color/patterns, shape, wearability(a big one for me!) and the collector mentality. My 10 most favorite pieces were not always my 10 most worn...though there was a lot of cross over. As someone who has a really limited budget for clothes, trying to find pieces that check my aspirational-wearable-durable boxes is my main goal when adding new items to my wardrobe. Thanks for sharing!
Oooh yeah that does sounds like a really useful and straightforward exercise, particularly as it pertains to things like color and shape. I'm so glad the essay resonated in conjunction with it :)
obsessed with these tips! i so often feel like my sense of personal style is lacking because i don’t go for bells and whistles, and i can’t find labels in the wild that work for me -- then recently an older neighbor told me he loves my “plain jane” look and everything started to fall into place. this post will only help me as i explore what plain jane means to me 💛
Going "collector" vs. "retail buyer" is groundbreaking! Will carry that with me from this day forward
Oh I'm so glad!! Maybe something I should expound on further in a future newsletter
Yes! Would love to learn more <3
I second the desire to think more deeply on this idea!
Love this! I think your advice about shape/color/proportion over aesthetic is so dead-on. I had a similar realization lately and it’s made getting dressed so much easier. Plus I feel more ME.
Agree, wholeheartedly! Thanks for sharing Harling. I enjoyed reading this post and am .2 seconds away from sending it to my friends.
Thank you!!
Music to my ears!
Thank you for this newsletter Harling! Lately (actually, for a very long time), I have been thinking about my personal style, really trying hard to come up with those infamous three words that are supposed to describe it, but I simply cannot seem to be able to label it correctly, therefore making me feel like I have no true style, because, like you said, my style is not "consistent" enough, and I truly love all sorts of things, puffy dresses, minimalist dresses, bohemian, girly, menswear inspired... I've decided I'm no longer gonna try to label it, I will just let it be and see where it takes me.
sounds very similar to my experience!
I cannot stress how important these words are in this particular climate of sped-up trend cycles and everything-core. I'm about to move from one continent to another and having to fit my whole life into two suitcases and the pieces that are coming with me are all "collectibles". I'll be passing this along to everyone I know!
Yesss thank you for articulating why I feel like looking at Instagram is not actually helping me develop my style right now!! Like I’m happy for everyone who has found success there but the dominance of “____core” and “____ aesthetic” is annoying when those things are often literally 1-2 outfits repeated in different colors, or very formulaic.
exactly! digestible content with mass appeal is rarely conducive to interesting personal style
I feel seen!! I'm a lifelong NYer who's influenced by so many styles and cultures that its impossible to pigeon-hole my style into a category or a few words. In an effort to recognize some hallmarks of my personal style, I realized I gravitate towards certain colors and shapes that are flattering to me. Sometimes this backfires, like the time I realized I won FAR too much green clothing, but I think for the most part I enjoy being experimental in earthy tones. I will say, the best advice is "shop like a collector, not a retail buyer".... genius.
I loved this as someone who just edited their closet based on the "3 words method" and then subsequently got a little bored and boxed in (lol). love the reminder to shop secondhand - I do think that challenges my brain in a good way and breaks me out of thinking too much about trends and rather more about what you said - proportion, color, shape.
Glad it resonates! I know a lot of people love the 3 word method but it strikes me as a "nice in theory, frustrating in practice" kind of concept
What a great rebuttal to this current influencing era. I loved your take on witnessing style through the prism of real life. Sometimes I’ll try to reference a look from social media and apply it to my own wardrobe only to feel like I can’t wear it out of the house due to lack of comfort. Also, embracing being an “outfit repeater!” and seeing it as a creative opportunity.
i'm so happy these thoughts resonated <3
I couldn’t have possibly articulated my thoughts this succinctly but I agree! It’s kind of freeing because, to your point, I have a hard time categorizing my own personal style and have sadly turned down many amazing unique secondhand pieces in pursuit of a strict aesthetic, i.e. a uniform/color-coordinated closet. 😭 Helpful to know the colors and shapes that work for you and use those as a shopping guide, especially for wardrobe staples and buying things new, but give yourself the creative freedom to venture a little. 🩷
“I used to think that meant I was stylistically confused — why else would Sade’s crisp and classic black-and-white ensemble inspire me just as much as Chloë Sevigny in tiger-striped tights? Now I’m pretty sure it just means I’m a human being who isn’t getting dressed inside of a video game.” Aaah thanks for this. I’ve always felt like I need to be one of those women with a Signature Style™️ and I’m just... not that. I thought something was wrong with me, style-wise, so I’m always trying to narrow down my whole style thing and force it into a box. Realizing I don’t have to is so heartening.
YES. You read my mind. And wrote it down in a much more compelling way ha! Thank you for this. Sharing <3
Brilliant! I have been feeling so stuck with my wardrobe recently, as I have feel I have been doing a similar thing of trying to fit it into a ‘box’, an aesthetic. When I read your advice about shape, colour and proportion, it clicked!! I wish I had come across that advice sooner. I will be culling, (and collecting!), as per this now. Xx
It’s like you read my mind!! Only yesterday I was stressing that I couldn’t ‘fit’ my personal style into a category. I was deliberating over whether I am ‘French girl’, ‘comfy’, ‘androgynous’.... but none of them sat well with me because my style changes based on mood, how my body feels, what I wore the day before (I.e. if I dress up one day, usually the next I need to keep it low key and extremely comfy). Also, I like a point of difference, something off kilter in how I dress, so this categorisation never seemed to work. Thank you for articulating Harling! X
I definitely think that putting your style in a categorical box can rob you of the enjoyable aspects of fashion styling. I remember reading years ago about a fashion or art director (can't remember exactly) who wore the same outfit to work everyday—a white button down and trousers—because it took the guess work out of getting ready. I believe Tonne Goodman has a similar approach, but I always thought that was too stifling a rule to follow. Fashion is FUN and I think it's better to treat getting ready as a form of playing dress up, like when I was a kid. If you have great pieces to work with, the possibilities for new outfits are endless <3
Hi Harling, this is a great reflection on how fluid and evolving personal style can and should be! My friends and I chat a lot about how style has been reduced to the core of the month or as you put it: easily categorizable style for the algorithm. Its really become all about staying on trend and conspicuous consumption. I have a lot of thoughts and gripes on this but my biggest one is how boring it’s all getting! A few years ago Agus Panzoni shared a writing exercise on how to reflect upon and develop your own personal style by writing down your 10 most favorite items, 10 most worn items and the top 10 colors and patterns of all of those items plus 10 items on your wishlist. Your piece helped me clarify what that exercise is all about: color/patterns, shape, wearability(a big one for me!) and the collector mentality. My 10 most favorite pieces were not always my 10 most worn...though there was a lot of cross over. As someone who has a really limited budget for clothes, trying to find pieces that check my aspirational-wearable-durable boxes is my main goal when adding new items to my wardrobe. Thanks for sharing!
Oooh yeah that does sounds like a really useful and straightforward exercise, particularly as it pertains to things like color and shape. I'm so glad the essay resonated in conjunction with it :)
obsessed with these tips! i so often feel like my sense of personal style is lacking because i don’t go for bells and whistles, and i can’t find labels in the wild that work for me -- then recently an older neighbor told me he loves my “plain jane” look and everything started to fall into place. this post will only help me as i explore what plain jane means to me 💛
Older neighbor commentary = the unsung hero of personal style revelations